A Student’s guide to graduation (And everything else)

DEAR READER,

I started my time at UNC Asheville in Fall 2020, smack dab in the middle of the pandemic. Only a few months before, I skipped classes on March 13, 2020, as it was the designated Senior Skip day. It’s ironic to look back and realize that I skipped the last day of normal schooling, and wouldn’t step foot into any of my high school classes ever again.

I didn’t have a real graduation. I had a virtual ceremony in June 2020, surrounded by a few friends and their families, as we donned our kelly green caps and gowns, and told everyone to shush when our names came up. We had a drive-thru pick up of our diplomas. It was a strange time, but I don’t have to tell you that.

Around the time UNC Asheville’s virtual Embark sessions were starting, my parents told me I could defer for a semester, or even a year. We didn’t know what school would be like in August, and they wanted to make sure I was safe.

I still went.

And it was weird! I couldn’t take off my mask anywhere but my own dorm room. I was hesitant to even take it off in other people's rooms. My roommate, KJ, who was a year older than me, had lived through the first round of school vs. COVID, where she had to pack up an entire room in a day. We took bets when UNC-Chapel Hill was shut back down, that we would be back home after six weeks. I didn’t bring that much to decorate my side of the room, because I just planned on leaving.

So as the sixth week passed, with slow numbers of COVID cases, KJ and I shared a similar look of wary hope. Maybe this semester will be normal. As normal as possible.

Six weeks turned to ten, and in Fall 2020, we had an accelerated semester, ending before Thanksgiving, trying to send everyone home before cases could spike. Somehow, I had made it through my first semester of college, taking a 300-level environmental studies course, my first 101 for my major, and some other stuff.

I joined a sorority that semester. (It didn’t last long). I found some great friends, had some fun moments, but ultimately it was a bad fit for me. I dropped out of the sorority the next fall semester, and moved on.

There are a lot of stories from my time at UNC Asheville. Like my month or so hobbling around campus after breaking my ankle. But I wanted to speak on some of my more teachable moments, so someone else can learn from my experiences too.

1. YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! (AND THAT’S A GOOD THING!)

If there are any prospective students reading this, or even students trying to decide their major, or another senior like me, let me say this: I have no idea what I’m doing!

Now, that’s not because I didn’t pay attention in college, or something like that. The exact opposite, honestly. I gave my all to every class I could. I put my time, energy, blood, sweat and tears into the projects in my major. I came into UNC Asheville convinced I’d be a Mass Communication major. And I was right about that.

But you know the funny thing about knowing exactly where you’re going? Half the time you’re wrong, and the other half isn’t any better. On the last day of class for my senior seminar (which is the big, “prove you’re good at this” class at the end of your major), I told my professor my initial plans for this summer, and for the fall. I confessed to the haphazard google searches about entertainment law schools, or even my panicked attempt to apply to a graduate program. 

I’m graduating college at 20 years old, as a video production student, working a strange mishmash of copywriting and social media. I'm going to London to work with a theater production and training company in the fall, and I still have no idea what I’m doing. 

While sitting in our circle of students, I could recognize the same feeling for some of my classmates. One’s moving to Austin, no job in hand. Another is staying in Asheville to work as a secretary before she tries the film industry again. Another has an interview at Warner Bros in Atlanta. And most of us are just hoping to God we’ll be able to pay rent.

It’s frightening to think that I might be in a completely different city, state, country, or college…(I could go on) by next May. As someone who religiously plans out their life in five year increments, it’s horrifying to look at the end of my London internship and know I have nothing planned. Hence the panic of finding a new school, since that means I can avoid questions about finding a production assistant job, or when I’ll write my next film…(I don’t know!!!). 

I was set on working in the film industry from about 12 years old. My major was never really in question, unlike others. But this is to say, even someone like me, who had it all planned out, who knew EXACTLY what I wanted to do, is coming out of college a year early, terrified of the path ahead of me, because of all the different options. I’m coming out with a great foundation: between the technicalities of running a film set, how to write and direct a 25 minute film, or even how to conduct research in my field. I’ll always be thankful for UNC Asheville for that. But I don’t know what I’m doing. So don’t worry if you don’t either.

(Or visit the Career Center. They taught me how to negotiate salaries, amongst lots of other things…so don’t sleep on them.)

2. GO TO THERAPY (AT LEAST ONCE)

Okay, okay. I shouldn’t be playing armchair therapist or anything, but I legitimately can give my totally important and valid stamp of approval on the Health and Counseling Center.

I’ve had my fair share of interactions with the Health and Counseling staff, between COVID tests, some autoimmune issues, and of course, my therapy.

Last fall, without giving a lot away, I was in desperate need of therapy. I managed to set up an appointment at the center, starting about two weeks from the first day of classes. My fall semester was not good for a lot of reasons, and I was able to talk about them in therapy. For some people, you may need bi-monthly meetings for the rest of your life. For me, I slowly drifted towards once a month check-ins once I started to restructure my issues and things got better. 

It’s without a doubt that I would’ve had a different fall semester if not for my therapist, and the service the Health and Counseling Center provides. It gave me such great pride when my therapist saw me a month or so ago, and smiled. 

She said to me: “It’s incredible to see where you are now, compared to when we met in September.”

So this is my soapbox moment. Don’t deny yourself the help you need, just because you want to tough it out, or feel like you don’t deserve it. If it’s not through the school, there are resources they can point you to. But take care of yourself, whether that looks like therapy, exercise, self-care, whatever it is. College is hard, and there’s no shame in that. 

3. DON'T THROW YOUR DREAMS AWAY...

Here’s a fun fact about UNC Asheville. We have a lot, and I mean a lot, of opportunities. The only thing about them is that you have to actually go and do them.

I worked as a student ambassador once, or one of the tour guides you might see around campus. Part of our spiel was about undergrad research. 

“Around 70% of students participate in undergraduate research during their time at UNC Asheville,” was the line I said, day after day. At the time, I always thought that number must be embellished, no way a majority of our students do research, (I hadn’t even done research yet!).

Flash forward to the end of my senior fall semester, where I had written a 16 page research paper about the niche sub-genre of Analog Horror (too much to get into), for a Sci-Fi and Horror class in the Mass Communication Department. It’s absolutely one of my crowning achievements from my time here. But I easily could’ve stopped there; turned my paper in and moved on.

UNC Asheville has their own Undergraduate Research Journal, in which students can submit their papers and discoveries to be professionally published. You can probably see where this is headed, but I decided on a whim to organize my paper in the required format, send it in, and see what happened. Halfway through April, I got the confirmation email that my paper would be published in our journal.

Now, I’m not just saying this to brag, I’m saying this because this is ONE of the incredible opportunities that come with being a UNC Asheville student. This past semester, as I gathered my energy for one last hurrah, I received recognition for all the work I, and my fellow students, had done.

One of the proudest moments for me was writing and directing my senior film (which is a thing in Mass Comm). It was a beast of a production, and as my own worst critic, there’s always going to be things I’ll want to change. But coming back down to earth, I realized what an incredible experience it was to be able to work with a talented group of students, and actors from the community to pull off our senior film.

Even working as just a hand on set, running between lighting, scripts, and audio, I was part of a film that was recently recognized at UNC Asheville’s first Student Creative Activity and Research Forum awards. 

There are moments in your college career that may seem insignificant, or unworthy of your full effort. Never fall into the trap of caring less about any one project, because when it comes back around, some of those experiences, assignments, or lessons can become some of your greatest achievements when leaving school. But they only become great if you don’t sell yourself short, or glide through without really committing. Grab the bull by the horns and give it your all. 

IN HINDSIGHT:

Graduating feels just as weird as starting school during the pandemic. I don’t think it’ll ever not feel weird to pack up my apartment, or to give back my mail key. It’s strange to think about how beat up my OneCard is after years of use, but after I leave, it’ll become a relic of my time here.

Parts of graduation feel like I’m collecting a time capsule in my own head, trying to preserve the best memories and moments, collecting trinkets and awards to frame in my own metaphorical gallery. To quote myself, from my own Common Application essay:

“I collect these stories, illusions and relics of the past, and tuck them away for future use in my work. I pull from my treasure chest of memories, the stories that sparked my imagination to build a vision of a future that is not bound by anything but my innate desire to create a world and tell a story.”

I am beyond excited to walk the stage, cheer for my friends, and throw my cap to the sky when it’s all said and done. In a way, graduation feels like coming home, commemorating with friends of the past, and those of the present, all together in one space, one time. 

Yet, I mourn the microcosm I created in my time here at UNC Asheville: taking naps in the Mass Comm media lab, chatting up friends behind the Ramsey Library research desk, voting on the best cartoons in the mail center, the hidden cave in the Communication and Marketing Office where I’m currently writing this from. 

But sitting in the sunlight on the quad, having one last meal at Papa’s and Beer, or laughing with my friends as we decorate our caps, I know for certain that graduation is not the end of anything. Graduation is not a funeral of the past four years, of splitting ways, unknown jobs or moving back home. Graduation is a celebration of everything achieved. Everything made and studied and found. 

For me, it’s recognition of my two semesters of German, my passion for sustainability and environmental policy. All the odd jobs I worked on sets, the hours I spent slaving over a computer, money earned and money spent. It’s proof that I did the work. I explored cultures and ecosystems, wrote papers on art and law, watched films about AI and corruption, talked about the world outside our mountain town, and the lives inside it.

College was not easy, in no sense of the word. But I am forever grateful for the time I had here at UNC Asheville, and I’ll carry a little bulldog spirit with me wherever I end up next.

Good night and good luck, 

Sawyer Serdula 

Class of 2023

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